arikarose 29yo Dayton, Nevada, United States

7 Illustrated Stories That Show Just How Gross Girls Can Be

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unlabeledpunk 20yo Fort Huachuca, Arizona, United States

“My house doesn’t have an inside toilet, so I have a jug that I pee in every night.” From A Girl’s Guide to Personal Hygiene.

Ivan101 / Getty Images

Like this one about smelling underwear.

"I like smelling my knickers when I'm sat on the toilet. Mainly because every time I get thrush or something, the doctor asks me if my discharge smells strange. So if I'm always checking, I'll know when something's up. Clever me."

Tallulah Pomeroy / Soft Skull Press

Or this one about peeing in a jug.

"My house doesn't have an inside toilet, so I have a jug that I pee in every night and sometimes in the morning. I pour it on some plants and leave it to dry during the day. When I'm on my period it's red pee, which is fun."

Tallulah Pomeroy / Soft Skull Press

Or this particularly gross account of an incident involving armpit hair and a toothbrush.

"Sometimes I trim my armpit hair over the sink and it goes on my toothbrush, which is also lying on the sink's rim and already has a little pea of toothpaste on it, and then it sticks on the toothbrush, but one time I had run out of toothpaste and it had been a big effort to squeeze some out, so I just brushed my teeth with the hair glued onto the toothpaste."

Tallulah Pomeroy / Soft Skull Press

The stories cover everything from poop...

"I quite often get trapped wind, and I find the best method to ease it out is to go into the bathroom, put my bare bum in the air, and wriggle it about a bit. Once, I did this, and on releasing a fabulous fart, I looked down and saw a tiny pea-size poo on the floor. I think I was a bit drunk. I just remember laughing at it for ages before I picked it up with loo roll."

Tallulah Pomeroy / Soft Skull Press

...to periods...

"After twelve years of periods, I still have trouble with not leaking on fresh white sheets, which is especially unladylike when you're a guest. So a couple of years ago I came up with this neat trick where I roll up a square of loo roll and stick it in between my butt cheeks. Works so well I feel like it should be a marketed product. Stuff ya cheeks, save ya sheets!"

Tallulah Pomeroy / Soft Skull Press

...to leg hair.

"I only shave my ankles, so it looks like I'm wearing fluffy trousers. Hehe."

Tallulah Pomeroy / Soft Skull Press

And, of course, vaginal discharge.

"After wearing undies all day, sometimes my pubes can get crusted up with some of that discharge. So I just go ahead and pick that off at the end of the day.

"I recently had a particularly stubborn case of bacterial vaginosis. It was bad timing — I'd met someone new and we'd started sleeping together, and all of a sudden I smelled like the bottom of a bin. I explained about my 'delicate ecosystem,' but a course of antibiotics failed to clear it up. One day, sad and smelly, I sat on the loo and felt something coming out of my body. My first thought was PROLAPSE! because this is one of my deepest fears. But when I reached inside, I felt not my internal organs but the source of my BV: a slimy old tampon. My period had finished two weeks before.

"When I held it up to inspect, I felt that mix of horror and pride we feel when something appalling comes out of our own body."

Tallulah Pomeroy / Soft Skull Press

A Girl's Guide to Personal Hygiene is out now. To learn more, click here.

Soft Skull Press

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